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If Women Ruled The World

* Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

* PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

* Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

* Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

* A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.

* Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.

* Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

* "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.

* Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

* Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.

* Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"

* Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.

* Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.

* Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.

* Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."

* Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

* Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.

* Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.

* All toilet seats would be nailed down.

* Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

* TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.

* All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.

* During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.

* Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.

* After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.

* For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year olds for six weeks.

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7/25/99